Joey Gibson’s Blog

So there’s been a lot of talk about what “dirty little secrets” Sarah Palin is trying to hide. And lots of talk about her politics. And lots of talk about her family. And lots of talk about her religious views. But I think people are missing the really serious issue about her religion that she’s not telling us. Let me ’splain.

Look at the names of her children: Piper, Willow, Bristol, Track and Trig. Apart from being a bit odd and hippie-ish, there’s a disturbing fact staring us in the face. It has to do with two of the girls.

First, there’s Piper. What can we learn from her name? We learn that Sarah Palin and her husband are fans of the television show Charmed. Next, there’s Willow. What can we learn from her name? That Sarah Palin and her husband are fans of the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And what do the characters Piper and Willow on these two shows have in common? I’ll tell you:

WITCHCRAFT!!!!!!

Yes, folks, it’s pretty clear what’s going on. Sarah Palin and her husband are fans of television shows about witches, and therefore they are clearly witches themselves. So forget about what she may or may not have done in office, or what she says are her religious beliefs. She’s a witch. And how do you knooow if she’s a witch or not? There are many ways to tell, but the most accurate involves a duck and large scales.

Note: for the humor-impaired among you, this was a joke. Or my lame attempt at a joke, anyway.

If you’re a fan of LOLCats, you’re going to love Fail Blog. Here’s one that made me laugh this morning.

see more pwn and owned pictures

I didn’t see this when it aired, but I caught it on one of those “most outrageous” clip shows. It’s now one of my favorites.

So we’re watching Project Runway (don’t ask) and the designers only have 5 minutes left. Tim Gunn walks in and says

Designers! Five Minutes! And some of you are still sewing? Question Mark!

I laughed out loud at that. And of course, the way Tim says it, with his “gay lilt,” it’s far funnier than if someone else had said it.

I don’t know for how long, but all of Dr. Horrible’s Sing-a-Long Blog is available to watch for free on Hulu. Hulu is a legit service from NBC, so you’re not doing anything illegal by watching it. So, go watch it and then buy it from iTunes. And then buy the soundtrack when it comes out. And then buy the DVD when it comes out…

I just finished watching Act III of Dr. Horrible’s Sing-a-Long Blog and it was very powerful. The end was not what I was expecting, I can tell you that. I don’t want to spoil anything, but don’t look for the cliché; it’s not there. The writing and acting in this short were both top-notch. As I said before, I really wish it weren’t just a three-part special. I’d like to see more episodes.

They should also make the soundtrack available as a download from iTunes. There was some good music in there.

I just checked my email and found this oh-so-exciting email from MICROSOFT EMAIL PROMOTIONS:

MICROSOFT EMAIL PROMO:OFFICIAL PRIZE NOTIFICATION

The MICROSOFT EMAIL PROMO TEAM is glad to announce that after a successful completion of the PROMO DRAWS on the 17th July 2008, your e-mail address,attached to winning numbers:(55) (73) (14) (41) (36) (29) won in the Tenth lottery category.

You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of £150,000,00(One Hundred and Fifty Thousand British Pounds Sterling) in cash credited to file REF NO:MSW-L/008-28793, BATCH NO:2008MJL-05, this is from a total prize money of £3,750,000 (Three Million,Seven hundred and Fifty Thousand British Pounds Sterling),shared among the Twenty five (25) international
winners in this category.

All participants were selected through our Microsoft computer ballot system drawn form 167,000 Names,as part of our International \”E-MAIL”\ Promotion Program for our prominent MS-WORD users all over the world and for the continuous use of the internet. You are adviced to contact the claims processor with the details below via his e-mail address :

NAME:  Marvin Cunningham
EMAIL: mrmarvcunn@yahoo.com.hk
TEL:   +44 703 5902789

PLEASE NOTE THAT YOU ARE TO SEND THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION TO CLAIM  YOUR WINNINGS:

1.Full Name………………………………
2.Address:………………………………
3.Phone:……………Fax:……………….
4.Country:………………………………
5.Sex/Gender……………………………..

In order to avoid unnecessary delay and complications,please remember to quote your reference and winning ticket number in all correspondence with  your claims officer.Your secret pin code is ML0757985.Be warned that cases of double claims and unwarranted abuse of this program  will be legally pursued.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,
MRS. MARTHA TAYLOR

There are so many spam dead giveaways in that email that I can hardly count them. There’s the all caps subject, the three different email addresses associated with the “prize,” the fact that the “prize” is to be awarded in pounds instead of dollars, the fact that the coordinator is using a Yahoo account from Hong Kong and the fact that there are numerous spelling errors that just scream ”Nigerian scumbag.” I love that they have quotes around E-Mail, which makes me think of Dr. Evil saying “laser” from Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. I also love the fact that the prize is given to those in “our prominent MS-WORD users all over the world and for the continuous use of the internet.” Riiiiight. I’m a “prominent” user of Word and the intertubes, so now I’m eligible. Suuuuure…

Yeah, I’ll be responding to this one.

Act II of Dr. Horrible’s Sing-a-Long Blog was release today, and it’s just as funny as Act I. Once again, the music is great and the story is getting very interesting. I was talking with a friend about it, and we both wish it were going to last longer than three episodes. Maybe if Joss makes enough money from people buying it from iTunes, as my friend and I both did, he’ll extend it. Maybe.

Not to spoil anything, but be sure to keep an eye on Moist during his scene with Dr. Horrible. It’s subtle, but funny.

Yesterday I received a packet in the mail from Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean Online game. I am a charter member or something like that since I joined up really soon after it launched and I might have paid for some length of time. Anyway, so this packet comes with some neat maps and such, but also some glaring spelling errors in the first paragraph.

(Click the image for a larger version.)

I was shocked at those. Disney usually has much better quality control, so I’m really surprised this slipped out the door. For those of you scratching your heads about what’s wrong with the circled words, let me ’splain. “You’re” is a contraction of “you” and “are”. The word they really wanted was “your.” And “adieu” is French for “goodbye.” The word they wanted was “ado,” as in “Much Ado About Nothing.”

Come on Disney people, you can do better than that.

This video is a couple of years old now, but I haven’t seen it posted on Youtube before, so I did. You know how on America’s Funniest Home Videos about 80% of the videos are of some poor schmuck getting whacked in the nuts? This video takes it to a whole new level. I laugh so hard every time I watch this.

While cooking my breakfast this morning I turned on the NASA channel on TV to see what was going on with the Atlantis mission. There was a beautiful video shot of the open cargo bay with the Earth below; quite stunning. Then the chatter between Atlantis and Mission Control. I didn’t write it down, but one of Atlantis’ crew was saying something about mail not moving from the outgoing mail folder to the sent mail folder and just needing to wait for the next mail sync. Mission Control then said something about Atlantis having Outlook problems. Gack! They’re using Windows on the Shuttle?!? They’re doomed!!!

Seriously, based on all of my many years experience with Windows, I would really be uncomfortable knowing that Windows was on the shuttle doing anything other than letting the astronauts play games.

Last night we went to my favorite Chinese restaurant and on the way out I noticed that some punk had ‘altered’ the specials board. It shouldn’t have made me laugh, but it did. Thomas told me that I should be ashamed of myself for laughing at that. I choked out an agreement between peals of laughter.

I just had to share two spam emails I received yesterday. I usually just delete crap like this, but these made me giggle. The first was from “tunde luren ” with the subject of “bible order.” Here it is:

Hello
We need you to help us with the bible below for our church crusade programe:

Bounded leather bibles 150pcs

send us the actual amount enclouse with the frieght charge to nigeria………….
church ministry
God bless

Yeah, I’ll be sure to send money for 150 “bibles” to Nigeria. I’ll get right on that. Is a personal check OK, or do you prefer cash? Maybe I could just send my VISA details. Surely a “church” is trustworthy, right?

The second one was from “Internal Revenue Service U.S.A ” with the subject of “Important Message From IRS.” Here’s the text:

After the last annual calculations of your fiscal activity we have determined that you are eligible to receive a tax refund of $93.60. Please submit the tax refund request and allow us 6-9 days in order to process it.

A refund can be delayed for a variety of reasons. For example submitting invalid records or applying after the deadline.

To access your tax refund online, please click here

Regards,
Internal Revenue Service

That “click here” was a link leading to an IP address-only website that is most certainly not part of the IRS. Here’s what whois said about the address:

# whois 165.233.48.227

OrgName: African Network Information Center
OrgID: AFRINIC
Address: 03B3 - 3rd Floor - Ebene Cyber Tower
Address: Cyber City
Address: Ebene
Address: Mauritius
City: Ebene
StateProv:
PostalCode: 0001
Country: MU

So unless the IRS has done some serious outsourcing to Mauritius, I think it’s safe to throw this email away.

What’s funny in all these African scam emails is how awful the spelling and grammar always are. You’d think that these African scammers would wise up and hire someone who speaks English to write their spam emails for them. Then they might trick more people. But who knows? They may be tricking enough people as it is, and so they don’t care about how stupid they look to the rest of us.

Luke 2:6 - 7 from The LOLCat Bible

6 When wuz time for teh baybee,7 it wuz a boy, so he wuz wrapd in blanket like burrito an placd him in fud dish, cuz innkeeper wuz liek, no room here kthxbye!

I know it’s already old in interweb time, but that LOLCat stuff still cracks me up. Wrapping the baby up “like burrito” really did make me LOL! Read the rest of Luke 2.

I was looking through the new jobs that had been posted at my company’s site, and I ran across this one. Check out the last line of the job description. I don’t think that’s really what they meant to say.

I don’t know much about Mike Huckabee, but this campaign ad is hilarious.

My favorite line: “There’s no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard, only another fist.” I know it’s old, but it makes me laugh every time.

Gotta love all that paid time off for “district” responsibilities.

I’ve been a fan of the Get a Mac ads since before I became a “Mac bigot.” This new web-only ad is one of the best.

Of course, my all-time favorite Get a Mac ad is this one featuring Gisele

This Dilbert is a perfect explanation of the moronic security policies that Chase bank has for accessing your accounts.

I should be able to access my account through their website from anywhere in the world, anytime I want. But noooooo. They use a browser cookie to make sure you’re on a machine they’ve seen before. If you use a different machine, or a different browser on the same machine, or clear out your cookies in the browser you always use, you can’t login. You get a page explaining their stupid security policy and telling you that they have to send you a new authorization code. You have to get it via email or a text message to your cell phone, both of which are not always that convenient. Or you have to actually call them and talk to a human.

I have a credit card with Chase, but my regular banking stuff is with another bank, who makes it much easier to get to my account info. I really hate having to check anything to do with my Chase account.