Aye, today be International Talk Like a Pirate Day and methinks a celebratory tankard of grog is in order. Yo ho, yo ho, a Pirate’s Life for me! Arr, ye can just call me Cap’n Joey “I’ve Never Owned a Parrot” Gibson fer today, ye can. So raise yer glasses high and be sure to refer to your wife/girlfriend as your “buxom beauty” or, fer the really adventurous, “serving wench!” Aye, that’s more fun than pillaging a small island settlement, it is. Shiver me timbers and prepare to be boarded!

(Note: Yes, this was a pretty poor attempt. I’ve never really tried to talk like a Pirate before.)