As the title suggests, about 30 minutes ago a guy comes to the door, wanting to sell me some meat. That sounds like the setup for a bad joke, but it isn’t. My wife told him to wait outside, and then she came and got me. I went out on the porch and he proceeded to tell me that he was from “The Cattle Exchange” and that he had some great deals on “steaks, pork, chicken and seafood.” I walked up to his truck, and he proceeded to show me a box of nice-looking, vacuum-packaged steaks. After showing me all the meat, he whipped out a price list. Here’s a recap of the ensuing discussion

Him: Now, if you were to order this online, it would cost you $451. But when I’m out here, doing what I do, I’m supposed to get $299…

Me: Wow. That’s still a lot of money.

Him: … and if you buy the case, I’ll throw in a case of chicken for $20.

Me: That’s still an awful lot of money for meat.

Him: Well, what if I cut another $100 off that price?

Me: You know, I’m gonna pass. We just don’t eat that much steak. Plus, that’s still a lot of money, to a company I’ve never heard of, and a guy who showed up at my door wanting to sell me some meat. No offense. (That last was said in my best Paulie Walnuts voice, with the appropriate hand gestures.) I’ll look your company up online and maybe think about it.

He then packed up his wares and left.

The whole thing just felt wrong. My first thought was that either this guy is ripping off his company, and selling it for less than he was supposed to, or his company was ripping people off on their website. I came back inside and looked up the company. It turns out my Spidey Sense™ was spot on with this outfit. Check out this headline Atlanta Cattle Exchange Complaints – Door-to-door meat sellers rip off! The comments are pretty enlightening, too. Looks like I made the right decision in not trusting him. It’s basically a scam from start to finish.

So, if a guy shows up at your door trying to sell you some meat, you should… wait for it… send him packing. Get it? Get it? Meat… packing… Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all week. Try the veal and remember to tip your waitress.